Psalm 18


property of depressions gift
property of depressions gift

There’s a wonderful Psalm (Psalm 18)  that paints a very vivid picture of how God expresses his anger on our behalf when we are under attack.  I’m going to include some verses here but it’s a long Psalm, fifty verses.  I urge you to look it up and read the entire chapter for yourself.  I read it often when I need to be reminded that God hates what I’m going through even more than I do.

Beginning with verse 6:

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried to my God for help;

He heard my voice out of His temple and my cry for help before Him came into His ears.

Then the earth shook and quacked, and the foundations of the mountains were trembling

And were shaken, because He was angry.

Smoke went up out of His nostrils, and fire from His mouth devoured; Coals were kindled by it.

He bowed the heavens also, and came down with thick darkness under His feet.

He rode upon a cherub and flew; and He sped upon the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his hiding place, His canopy around Him, darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.

From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds, hailstones and coals of fire. 

The Lord also thundered to heavens, and the Most High uttered His voice, hailstones and coals of fire.

He sent out His arrows, and scattered them, and lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.”

I just love this. I love this whole Psalm. How unfathomable that the God of the universe comes to our aid with such fierceness. It’s a side of God we seldom think about, probably because we don’t want to. But I like this side of God. It reminds me that while he’s a loving Father, he’s also my protector and avenger.

Then verses 30b through 33:

“He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the LORD? The God who girds me with strength and makes my way blameless? He makes my feet like hinds feet and sets me upon my high places.”

Isn’t that wonderful?

God bless.

Ancient of Days


google images

google images

ANCIENT OF DAYS (Daniel 7:9)

“As I looked, “thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took seat”.

Only the prophet Daniel referred to God with this name.  If you get a chance and you want to read a fascinating book, read the book of Daniel and you will understand why Daniel called God by this name. It’s a prophetic book and not the easiest to understand. It will require some work and extra study from other sources.

When I was asked to teach a Bible class from this book, I initially said no because I was woefully ignorant of the book of Daniel. But I did. If I haven’t told you the story of how my study of Daniel saved my husband’s life I promise to do so soon. You will either believe it or you won’t. Doesn’t matter. I was there and I know that it was because of how I prayed that night, (for which I give God the credit because he’s the one who prompted me to teach the class) that he was rescued. It was a quite an experience.

The Ancient of Days has great symbolism for me because of that night. Knowing that God is ancient reminds me that he’s been around a lot longer than me. In other words, God’s a lot older! That is comforting.

  • He is (modiv.wordpress.com)

update on my foot


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google images

Hi everyone,.

Thought I would give you an update on my here and here. (This was also posted on “theworminmyapple.com).

Had my three-week appointment today. My foot is getting better. There is a fifty-fifty chance I might get to avoid surgery. I still have to wear brace when I’m out and about for three more weeks. At home, I can wear regular shoes with my orthotics.  That will be the way we “test the waters”.  I’m still pretty nervous about how this will all end. So anyway, I was feeling pretty encouraged today until…….

Two friends mention to me, “Rebecca, is your leg swollen?”  Now this is after I’ve come home from the doctor’s, of course. So I come home and say to my husband, “Do you think my leg is swollen”?

“It is swollen”. he says. “Off your feet, now. I’m getting you an ice pack.”

So now I’m trying to figure out what this is all about.  Life certainly can send some curves our way. BUT, I just finished reading a prayer request from my church through our prayer chain. A young man, father of four, one of whom is a newborn, was in a car accident today. He might have to have one of his legs amputated at the hip. His other leg is crushed.

A foot in a cast is nothing is nothing, is it?  Perspective is everything, isn’t it?  God bless and I hope you all have a wonderful week-end.

 

an epiphany


(Heads up! This is a re-post from way back when. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know how the technical side of blogging  has been a steep learning curve for me. I’m re-writing some very early blogs because I did so much wrong in those early days. Like wrong tags, no tags, no categories, etc. I like to think I know so much more now. 🙂 Some of these early posts set the stage for subsequent posts. I’m not re-posting just to re-post. I’ve spent even more time on these re-posts than I did the originals. I will always let you know when I’m re-posting something which won’t be too often. Thanks for understanding.)

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This blog finally became reality when I decided (after years of procrastination) to paint my dining room hutch. When I see this “before” picture,  I remember how much I disliked it for years.

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Here it is in progress.

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The thought of possibly ruining it kept me paralyzed. But one  morning I knew the time had come. I was up early and painting by 10:00 a.m.  For some reason, that morning’s resolve was an epiphany. After years of studying my nemesis, depression, and coming to terms with where I wanted my life to go, it just all finally came together like a really good recipe. It seemed as though during the night God had silently imprinted on my mind,  “Go ahead and enjoy your life. Take some chances. It’s o.k. I approve.”

Here it is decorated for Christmas. Since then, I’ve filled the shelves with creamy white accessories. I love it. I’ve yet to finish the table and chairs only because I can’t find chairs I want so I’ll probably just paint the chairs I’ve got.

edited copy 2 Continue reading

my box at God’s feet


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I’m going to briefly share a concept I believe God gave me a long time ago about how to “keep our thoughts” captured as written in II Corinthians 10:5. Most Christians know this verse but very few know how to do it. Just try to talk yourself into not thinking certain thoughts almost guarantees that you will.

So years ago when I was fighting depression, in particular without medication, I learned this technique. I will be sharing this at depressionsgift.com as well. But seeing as how it works for me now on what I consider just some “bad days”  I’m sharing it here as well.

I used this technique just this morning during my devotional time. Continue reading

why should I be immune?


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I’ve always said that I’ve enjoyed really good health. I feel I still do although lately that position has been tested.

Presently, I have an inflatable cast on my left foot in hopes of avoiding major, major ofoot surgery.Because of this cast, I am now experiencing pain in my other leg and foot because I’m not walking correctly.

I have another brace on my left arm-another tendonitis problem. I look like I’ve been in an accident. This has all come as a big of a shock. I went from mobile to immobile in a week. I’ve already watched enough TV to last me for a while. Now, it’s trying to figure out how to do what I need and want to do under the circumstances. This could be a very, very long time for both conditions to heal.

But then I got to thinking. Why not me? Everyone has their problems. Everyone has things they need to work around, to work through. Why should I be exempt?

This is a challenge. I like challenges. (Of course, I would prefer to pick and choose.) While I don’t believe there is a reason for everything, I do believe that we can learn and grow through challenges. Hey, maybe I’ll look back someday and see this was a good thing. Buy maybe not. But here’s the thing.

Do we always have to attach some great cosmic message from God in everything? Does every challenge in life have to result in some great revelation? I think when we let our minds go there, we miss the opportunity to simply experience the experience. Isn’t it up to God whether or not there’s some great lesson to be learned? I’m sure if there is, God’s Holy Spirit will let me know.

For me right now, it’s the practical stuff I’m concerned with. How not to spill a cup of coffee because my grasp is weak. How to vacuum and dust with the other hand. How to type with a brace on, (I’m doing it by the way.) How to get down to pull a weed with this stupid foot cast on and not twist my foot. My hubby and I did figure out the shower thing. I won’t go in to details but let’s just say it’s very creative.

Anyway, this is my life for now. I don’t like it. I certainly wasn’t expecting it and I wish it were over. But this is what I’ve been dealt. I will walk again without this brace. I will eventually get rid of the arm brace. I’m keenly aware of those who face these kinds of challenges every day. I’ll be darned if I’m going to let a temporary challenge turn into a permanent mindset.

Besides as my favorite heroine said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

Help! An envy worm has shown up


from Google images

from Google images

Today I encountered a new “worm”. Or should I say an old “worm” that just hadn’t shown its head for quite a while. The worm that’s eating my apple today is comparison and envy.

Our moods can easily plummet when we let our guard down even a little. I’m having  a perfectly wonderful day. Hubby and I are going to visit our precious two little grandsons for a few days (ages two and four). It’s been almost five weeks!!!!!For us that’s a week too long. In an upcoming long post I’m going to share with you the story of our youngest grandson. It’s quite a story. I think you’ll laugh, cry (which is why it’s taking me some time to finish)  and feel inspired all at once. I did. Anyway, moving on…… Continue reading

a tough twenty-four


Stress/discouragement
Stress/discouragement/My title/Google Images

(When I published this I was feeling pretty down as you will read. Because of that I didn’t add any tags or categories, so few people ever saw this which is why I’m re-posting. It’s been two weeks since I wrote this and I’m doing ever so much better.)

When I began blogging, especially on “depressionsgift.com”, I promised to be honest, to let you in on some situations as they were happening. This is one such occasion.

These past twenty-four hours have been a roller coaster ride-although mostly down with only an occasional up.There has been a couple of ongoing situations that have been very stressful. Mostly because they involve people I love deeply. I even took a nap I was so overwhelmed. That is extremely uncommon for me.

During my devotions this morning, I pleaded with God (whined might be a better word) about why he hadn’t answered certain of my prayers yet. I reminded him of Ephesians 3:20 that says that “God is able to do more than we can ever even think of according to the power that works in us”. So I prayed, “OK, Lord if I can’t even think of it, how can I ask for it? So I asked the Holy Spirit to intercede for me and bring these “things I can’t even imagine” to God on my behalf. I feel like the day has been spent on my knees even if it were only in my head.I am exhausted.

It’s getting late and I feel so blessed to report that one of those prayers has been answered. It’s the one that was “time-sensitive”. Now if you think I’m making the point that it was all my hard praying that made the difference, I’m not. Actually, the older I get the less I’m sure of why certain prayers get answered and others don’t. That doesn’t bother me at all to admit that. It means I’m finally learning to trust more, with or without answers.

I’m learning to keep praying no matter what. Or maybe I’m learning patience. At this point, I couldn’t tell you. I’m just glad I’m getting ready to go to bed. As Scarlett O’Hara said, “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

a bookworm is eating my apple


Hmm, the latest book I’ve read.  (I’m responding to Word Press’s daily prompt, bookworm. )  I’m always reading more than one so how do I pick?

One of M. Scott Peck’s books? I usually have one of John Ortberg’s or Andy Stanley’s always open. Then there’s “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban  Breathnach for more practical inspiration.

There are novels by John Grisham, Scott Turow, David Baldacci.

Saving Faith

Saving Faith (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So many books, so little time. Sigh. I didn’t even mention the magazines, the books on my Nook, etc. I’m an avid reader in case you haven’t figured it out already.

In my previous battle against depression, they have proven to be my friends. The kind of friends I can count on to keep quiet and let me process. The kind of friends who when needed, get in my face.

Oh, I forgot myold  standby, Spiritual Depression by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones. I just ordered a second book because my first one is really marked up. I can always tell if depression is sneaking up on me if I have this book open. 

I read this book when I want to determine if my relationship with God is where it should be. I don’t want to confuse a spiritual issue with depression.(Depression’s voice can often be misleading and it’s important to accurately know what’s causing our low mood.)  This book always helps me in this regard. It was written in 1965 before all the books that tell us we needn’t feel guilty about anything, that nothing is really a mistake, that we’re all winners,……..

untitledHere’s a sampling.

Regeneration, the work of God in the soul by which He implants a principle of divine and spiritual life within us, does not change a person’s temperament. Your temperament still remains the same.  The fact that you have become a Christian does not mean that you cease to have to live with yourself.  You will have to live with yourself as long as you are alive, and yourself is your self and not anyone else’s self.”

Then there’s Dallas Willard’s whose  “Hearing God”,  I’ve read many times and still don’t feel I understand what he’s saying. It’s the only book I’ve ever read where I feel like a dunce. I highly recommend it, especially if you want your mind challenged.

Cover of "Hearing God: Developing a Conve...

Cover via Amazon

I hope you’re a reader. Reading opens a whole new world. For example, I never knew so much about zoos till I read “The Life of Pi”. I didn’t even know I wanted to know about zoos and wild animal management till I read the book.

I love Julie Cameron’s book and Kathleen Norris’s. I am quite happy to have a stack of books everywhere. It’s the one exception to a neat house rule.

The next time you have a choice between television and a book, pick a book.

what comes around goes around


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God can really upset the apple cart, can’t he? As you know I am a Christian. I believe God directs me when I ask but that he also directs me even when I don’t ask. Today was such a day. I was supposed to take my mom to a movie. She hasn’t been out of the house much for months. As it turned out the movie was no longer playing. It was a beautiful day and with this change of plans, I was looking forward to working in my gardens. I shouldn’t say work, because it’s never work to me. But then my mother decided she wanted to go shopping. Still, I thought this won’t take long. She’s usually eager to come home after only a couple of hours. Not today. We were gone most of the afternoon.

She usually buys nothing. Today, she bought three new pairs of pants, three new tops and a pair of shoes. I was so glad she did. It was good to see her show an interest in life and be good to herself. But for the first hour or so, all I could think of was how much I wanted to be playing in my yard. I am ashamed to admit that. Ashamed to admit I begrudged her even a moment of my time. Why I’m letting all of you know this, I’ll never know. Except that maybe you’re feeling embarrassed about something you’ve done as well.

We shouldn’t though, should we? I mean I did the right thing. I just didn’t want to do the right thing, But the Bible says motives are important. I need to have some much needed quiet time with God as my feelings are all over the place. I’m glad I did what was right but I’m not happy my feelings took a while to catch up. I’m also glad God looks at me in love and lets me start all over. Now I need to extend that forgiveness to someone in my life.

Maybe that’s what today is all about. I need to remember I’m human. I don’t always get it right. I don’t have to be harder on myself than God is and he’s already forgiven me. There’s someone in my life I’m having hard angry feelings towards now. She’s human, too. Maybe if I let myself off the hook, I can let her off the hook as well.

I love the saying “What goes around, comes around.” It’s not always true but in the case of forgiveness, it is.