why some people won’t get better


Yea, got it figured out. Was an AOL problem.  Resubmitting

why some people won't get better

why some people won’t get better

Today is a hard day. I’m facing more difficult decisions. They will affect another person but will affect me even more.  I’ve looked back over my posts titled, “how do you know” which outlines some of the procedures I’ve used in the past. I hope they serve me well today.

I’ve done as much homework as I can. The truth is no matter what I decide it involves another person coming on board and doing their part. That’s the dilemma because  they probably won’t. Which brings me to my post for today. Actually it’s more of a philosophical question.

Why do we work so hard at the unhealthy things we do and not for the healthy ones?

Some examples:  Sometimes I work harder at finding excuses for doing something when if I just got up and did it, it would take less time than all the time it takes me to talk myself out of it. Like exercise.

It takes more effort for me sometime to avoid  making that phone call than it does to actually making it.  Doctor and dentist appointments. Haircuts. The list goes on. But eventually I do make the right decision and do what is best for me.

But what about all the people who don’t?  And we all know many of them.  They are the perpetual “thinking about doing but never doing kind of people”. They are the ones who because they’ve thought about it so much they actually believe they’ve done it!  I know a number of people like that.

With depression it’s a thousand times worse.  It takes so much more effort to move and to get dressed, to do something constructive.  I know. I’ve been there.  More than once.  But I don’t intend to get there again.

But the person I’m concerned about today, the one where my actions might drastically affect her life has never shown that kind of initiative.  So the question for me is how far do I go in pushing them? Can I even?  In my case, what worked for me? Was it someone pushing me or someone nudging me a little now and then?

And did any of it make a difference? Was the answer within me the whole time? Somewhere so deep that I had to get to the bottom of the pit to find it.  But what if one can get to the bottom of the pit and not even know it? I’m beginning to think it’s possible.  I’m beginning to think that some people will never experience that feeling of being so low they can’t go on because they simply refuse to. And if they refuse to see how far they’ve fallen, I’m not sure they will ever see the rope that is dangling down to help them. They will continue to sabotage their own efforts and nothing anybody can do will change things. They refuse to believe the answer is in them. It’s always somebody else or something else.

The worst part? Their actions, or lack of them,  end up affecting everyone else.

I’ve always said that if I knew why some people are motivated to change and others aren’t, I would be a rich woman.  It takes far more effort than it does talent, abilities and intellect to reach ones’ goals. Ask anyone who’s accomplished their goals and they will tell you the same thing.

Even developing this blog has been more about determination and tenacity than it has been anything else. I don’t even know the blogging lingo. It took me forever to understand widgets, url’s, hyperlinks, etc., and yet I’ve finally got this blog up and running. I’m linked to Google and Twitter. Again, it was sheer determination. I’m about as technically challenged as they come.

This post has been more of a venting today than anything else. But I trust that my venting touched a core of truth with someone. And might I add, if there’s someone in your life who is sincerely trying to help you in some way, please at least listen.  Even in your depression try to hear the voices of those trying to help. But remember, you are the only one who can do the work required to lift your depression and then manage it. Oh, you may need assistance from your doctor. You may need some short-term medication. But in the long run, it will be up to you.

p.s. I just reviewed this post.  I think I wrote this to me and for me. I think perhaps I needed to hear this from my own words.  God surely does work in mysterious ways.

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