competition versus enjoyment
Whoa! I’m too competitive. I’ve been playing “Words with Friends” over the week-end. I really like the game, but it wasn’t until this morning that I realized I don’t enjoy it. I want to, I just don’t. That has to change. What’s the point of playing if it can’t also be fun?
So today I’m choosing to have fun. It’s o.k. if I lose. I’m learning lots of new words, words, of course, I’ll never use. And I at least have the honor of once beating my never once defeated husband. By the way, he’s never lost a game, except to me. That makes me feel a little cerebral.
I never connected depression with competition but I think there just might be one. When we can’t “play” because we have to win, we set ourselves up for anger and anxiety. We spiral to, “I’m not smart. I’m not good at anything.” I got to thinking about how I have to win my point in a conversation or my mood drops. How I have to look good in the mirror everyday or I feel unattractive. How I always have to be “on”.
That’s going to start to change today, even if it’s only a tiny bit. I know I’m going to lose a game of Words With Friends today because I’m playing against some tough opponents. (I hope there not twelve!) When I lose I’m going to convince myself it’s only a game and no one knows anyway. (I am keeping score of course. It’s what I do. Hmmm. Maybe that’s another area I need to examine.)
Anyway, how are you at losing? Anything? Even your keys. Does it throw you into a tailspin? If it does, maybe you, too, need to reexamine these areas.